CLOSURE

            

                         

      It seemed like the second the bond broke

                                            I ceased to exist

                                 I ceased to matter to you

                      I never had to beg for attention

            I thought I made your skies blue.

       The first few words you spoke to me 

                 Captivated my soul

                   I was sold 

                 To a world filled with certain desires

          You had me wrapped around your arms like a wire.

    The conversations was out of this world 

         I thought it was most special

           The sensation it gave my body and mind  

          was so intensified, it was more than sensual.

           I gave you my most prized possession

               I let you into my rare temple 

             Though you appreciated my flaws

         and held me so tight like I was yours.

      You made me appreciate what I was ashamed of

                     You tickled my fancy

               You spoke to my dead bones 

                  Call that Necromancy.

             You made me feel too good

           You had me dreaming of you 

             It was perfect for a moment 

        Though we drifted away, that's my fault

                I was scared of commitment.

            But we always spoke on phone

            Told you everything in my heart

                   I confided to your soul

        Cuz I never thought we'd ever be apart.

           I loved how you challenged my perception

                        It drove me crazy 

           I loved how you made me you call you Dr.

                   Because you have a PhD.

                  Don't act like we never had a bond

                      Or that was just in my head

                  What we had was close to love

         Cuz I know I was not just an extra on your bed.

                     I felt like I was the only one

                      Well, apart from the wife

        Though I knew about the girl in final year

                I always felt I was more dear.

                      I know I had to leave

                           I had to let go

                    It was very hard for me

             Harder than you can ever know.

           You came back and told me

                   you missed me

               It was so convincing

           I was shocked and astonished 

             Cuz I felt you were being honest.

                But when we spoke again

                   You felt so distant

           I could tell you were over me

                    From that instant.

         I thought you were just stressed

                I kept making excuses

                  I know I was an ex

            and I still had my bruises.

                    Then the day came

                     I saw you again

             I had a smile on my face

         Cuz I remembered the past days.

            But then you ignored me

         You acted like I was not present

             I know humans could be petty

               But really? To that extent?

                 You did not stop there

              You decided to do worst

            You decided to torture me

              And hurt me at all cost.

            You shattered my heart

           I died a thousand times

                 I hated myself

         Because I ignored all the signs.

            This is your time to shine 

             Your time to show-off

     Your time to do everything that I ever called bluff.

                   You talked to all the girls

             You rubbed it in my face

        You showed me that in the contest

                   I was the least.

                    Really? Really?

         Did I ever mean anything to you?

           Or I was another statistics 

               I've done my calculation

            I was good in mathematics

         Though I was never a romantic

              I became a 'you' fanatic.

                   Really? Really?

        Tell me we had something more than sex

       Tell me that I was more than below skirts

      Please tell me that I was not just one of the girls

            Tell me I'm a diamond among pearls.

                 Tell me it's not all history

         Tell me we had more than good memories

           Tell me you know I'm in misery

             Getting a pass mark was secondary.

               Tell me what we had was special

              Tell me it was more than sexual.

             Tell me I blew your mind away

              Tell me you would love to stay

       Tell me you wish you could have me any day

                              In any way

            Tell me you wish you had the final say.

                    Tell me I'm not a clown

     to think you wanted more than under my gown.

              I know I'm being selfish

                   I was the one that left

           But I thought you were different

           I could almost say it with my chest.

                   You destroyed me

              I went home a disaster

          The way tears ran down my cheeks

             Could not happen any faster.

           I felt like peeling my skin off

               You traumatized me

           Did I ever matter to you?

      Did I ever make you feel good?

       Ever since then its been a different story

                  Every single day

           Wow, you are everywhere

           We should call you MTN.

      Funny that you still haven't reached out 

           Funny to think this is the end of the chapter.

                  But I know I'll be fine

              I know you were never mine

                   I know after all of this

           Everything would fall back in line.

          So while I go through the motions

             Still doubting all the emotions 

                   I have all the exposure

            To know all I need is CLOSURE.