RAPE:MEN ARE VICTIMS TOO

                                                                                                                                                            

Whenever we hear the word "RAPE" the first thing that comes into our mind is a female victim and a male perpetrator which is not false because women are more likely to get raped than men but that does not mean men don't get raped too, in fact men are raped more often than we think, its surprising to know that men makeup 38% of all adult sexual assault victims but before i go any further what is rape?

WHAT IS RAPE?

The definition of rape is inconsistent between government health organizations, law enforcement, health providers and legal professions. It was not until 2012 that the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) considered rape a crime solely committed by men against women. In 2012, they changed their definition from "The carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will" to "The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim". I personally define rape as having sexual or oral intercourse with a person who does not want too, or cannot consent.

When men are raped, the person who usually assaults them is another man but its still possible for women to rape men, although this crime is much less frequent and has been documented and researched to an even lesser extent than same-sex rape. Unfortunately male survivors of rape have often struggled alone trying to deal with their trauma in isolation. More often than not, they are by the fear that loved ones, police and service providers will fail to support them in  their time of crisis.

Men are likely not to speak up about sexual assault, In fact 90% of men don't talk about their rape experiences because the idea of being a victim is very hard to handle.

REASONS WHY MEN DON'T SPEAK UP ABOUT RAPE

We're raised to believe that a man should be able to defend himself against all odds, or that he should be able to risk his life to protect his pride and self-respect.

Gender roles( Societal concepts that have been created based on an individual gender) and Toxic masculinity( Expectations that men must be active, aggressive, tough, daring and dominant.) has made it very hard for men to be vocal about sexual assault with beliefs/myths that men cannot be raped, a man is too strong to be raped, men always want to have sex or only gay men gets sexually assaulted. 

UNHELPFUL MYTHS ABOUT RAPE OF MEN

There are a number of commonly accepted myths that can make it difficult for a man to publicly name an experience of sexual assault or rape. These myths can affect the way a man feels about himself following an assault, preventing him from seeking assistance and can influence the way that he is treated should he come forward for help. Myths like

Men can't be raped or sexually assaulted: Men can and are sexually assaulted regardless of size, strength, appearance, age, occupation, race or sexual identity. The idea that men cannot be raped is linked to the unrealistic beliefs that a man should be able to defend himself against attack.

Erection or ejaculation during sexual assault means you "really wanted it" or consented to it: Developing an erection or ejaculating does not indicate that a man wanted or enjoyed the assault. Men can get erections even in traumatic or painful sexual situations, and this does not indicate consent.

Only gay men are sexually assaulted: Any man can be raped, whether he identifies as straight, gay,bi,transgender or fluid sexuality. Rape is an act of force or coercion where someone's personal choice is ignored.

Men cannot be sexually assaulted by women: Although the majority of sexual assaults of men are committed by men, women do sexually assault men, it can involve emotional manipulation whereby a man could be forced into sexual act out of fear of potential repercussions, drugging a man or gang rape.

EFFECTS OF RAPE ON MEN:

1) Post traumatic stress disorder(PTSD) and psychosomatic complaints

2) Generalized anxiety disorder 

3) Men who have been raped are at higher risk of suicide 

Because of gender expectation, being a male victim could lead to

1. Homophobia

2. Sense of being an inadequate man

3. Sexual problems 

4. Confusion over gender and sexual identity 

5. Pressure to prove his manhood physically and sexually.

HOW TO HEAL FROM TRAUMA: Sexual assault victims need extensive emotional and psychological healing after rape

If you are a rape survivor you need to know that 

a) you are not alone

b) you did not cause the rape to happen 

c) you did the right thing to survive the assault

d) being a victim does not make you less of a man

e) its ok to speak up

We all have our roles to play by breaking beliefs that men cannot be raped or men should not speak about it. We all have to try and end Toxic masculinity and create more awareness about male rape and the effects.

                                                                          

                                                                                     STAY SAFE.