EXPECTATIONS: PART1

                                     "PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS AS DEFEAT OR                                                       DEPRESSION,

          THIS IS THE MIND OF AN AVERAGE NIGERIAN                                           FIRST PERSON SIMULATION,

                    IN A LIFE WITH SO MANY EXPECTATIONS,

                         OUR ONLY HOPE IS SALVATION."

That Quatrain is from a poem I wrote called "IN A PERFECT WORLD".

    This has to be the first article I'm writing without knowing what to say. Let me start like this-

A few weeks ago, I woke up feeling emotionally, physically and mentally drained. I was tired- tired of this world, tired of the pressure, tired of everything. I felt like my whole existence has been a lie, everything I have ever wished for or anticipated never happens.........Wait....Maybe a little context or backstory will help

   My name is Tari Francis, some people will define me as a Radical(well, this is how my Dad sees me) but its not far from the truth, all my life I have been "radical" about certain issues like Women Advancement and Empowerment, Equality and Equity, Christianity(recently, still growing), Changing perspectives, Doing what is right etc and I have always felt like it was what I'm supposed to do because I really enjoy speaking about all these issues that I think can be fixed, Now of course I don't think I can change the world but I think I can fix some things, make some people see things differently and it has been my Life long goal.

    I like to think of myself to be "AS QUEER AS A CLOCKWORK ORANGE", I'm not satisfied with the regular-making money and luxury, I want things to be better and to a point I would stop at nothing to achieve that goal. To a point, I always felt untouchable, undefeated because no matter what happened I would always pull through, I would always tell myself that the future is so much better than what I can envision BUT not anymore. On that fateful day, I felt defeated, I felt exhausted, tired and drained. I grew up In a society that always encouraged girls to be of high morals and be conservative  but here we are advocating and enriching the girls that are "anti".

For those that don't know I'm a Nigerian meaning I'm always fed up with life and I'm used to disappointments because that was what the country was made to do, Now this is a well known fact and you would feel  that people would be less expectant of things from you but that is not true.

To be Fair, there is this pressure placed on everybody in the world to be better, to always try to surpass the limit which sometimes is not a bad thing-its good to have dreams and be hopeful, but with the emergence of Social media it has become more toxic and hating..............Why must everyone be rich????????? Why must everyone be a certain way??????????? Why must I go out of my way to be considered beautiful or worthy????????? and the most Ridiculous thing is most people only want these things just to be able to flaunt on Social media or to feel among, I felt my Generation(The Gen Z) would be more understanding because of how we hated that our parents pressured us into many things.

I do have a lot to say about all this because I am angry in my body and soul but I'm gonna conclude with saying that my new goal is to survive and make do with whatever comes and to stop living the majority dream, now this is not me accepting defeat or feeling frustrated but this is me trusting God in everything and for everything, do the best I can, taking life at my pace and not caring what the world does or have to say.

      If you are interested in the poem, I'm making a post on it....Stay blessed and safe I love you but Jesus loves you more....Seek him

                                                                                     STAY SAFE